IC Voicemail

[gotashortfuse]

THIS IS THE GREAT AND POWERFUL MICHAEL-SAMA!

LEAVE A MESSAGE OR I'LL BURN YER ASS!

Comments

[charring]

Mika? Did you talk to the deities recently?

Voice

[gotashortfuse]

[Mika doesn't do text, Charlie. That's like...typing and stuff.]

Those power douches?

Voice

[charring]

Huh. [A pause. Okay. Now she's not so sure.] Yeah. Them. Did you trade with them recently?

Voice

[gotashortfuse]

[Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooongest pause ever.]

You can make trades with 'em?

Voice

[charring]

I'll take that as a 'no, Charlie I did not just trade to get your life back'. Okay. And, yeah. You can trade with them.

Voice

[gotashortfuse]

You're alive again?

Voice

[charring]

Yeah. Alive and kicking, apparently, and I wanna find out who traded.

Voice

[gotashortfuse]

Who cares! Let's do something fun instead!

Voice

[charring]

I care. What if they traded something huge? The deities don't exactly trade in tangible items. But..okay.

Voice

[gotashortfuse]

I don' get it.

Voice;

[charring]

The deities like memories. Abilities. Senses. Big stuff like that.

Voice;

[gotashortfuse]

Well all my shit's together.

voice:

[charring]

Okay. THank you for telling me.

voice:

[gotashortfuse]

Lying and hiding stuff is for stupid people.

voice:

[charring]

...or people trying to survive. But, yeah. It's not the smartest thing.

So what are we going after, Mika?

video

[gotashortfuse]

[He switches to video to show off a picture he quickly scribbled.]



THIS!

video

[charring]

Holy hell. What is that and how big is it?

video

[gotashortfuse]

[Hang on. He's looking at his picture again.]

No idea!

[Grin~]

video

[charring]

Sure. But if it kills me, you're in trouble.

video

[gotashortfuse]

No one dies when I'm watchin' over 'em!

[SUDDENLY AND VERY BELATEDLY.]

And no calling me Mika! It's Michael!

Re: video

[charring]

Michael. Right. Sorry. See you in a bit.

video

[gotashortfuse]

See ya!

straight to voicemail

[dignity_misery]

Michael, it's Carla. I have a... [Ew this is gross.] favor to ask.

Return my call.

[She could stand to ask a little bit more nicely...]

call back

[gotashortfuse]

[A favor? From him?

The fuck?

Good thing asking nicely doesn't really do much for him so the not being nice works.]

I returned your call.

[dignity_misery]

Good.

[Nope. Still not polite.]

You're good with fire, right?

[gotashortfuse]

The fuck kinda question is that? I'm the fucking Angel of Fire.

[So there.]

[dignity_misery]

[Goddamn angels........]

Well I need the angel of fire's help.

[gotashortfuse]

[Wait. This has potential.]

Yeah? With what?

[dignity_misery]

Those dragons have been gone a month and my dog is still breathing fire.

[gotashortfuse]

[PING]

You have a fire breathing dog?

[dignity_misery]

I fed him a dragon.

[gotashortfuse]

Now he breathes fire? How the hell does that work?

[That makes no sense to him.]

[dignity_misery]

How should I know? But that's when it started.

[gotashortfuse]

...Hey. Wait.

What the fuck is the problem? A dog that breathes fire is cool.

[dignity_misery]

He can't control it. He's going to burn my apartment down.

[gotashortfuse]

So train him. He's a dog.

[dignity_misery]

I don't know what to do with a fire breathing dog.

[gotashortfuse]

[It suddenly dawns on him.]

Wait...is that why ya called me?

[dignity_misery]

Yes.

[gotashortfuse]

So you have come to the great and wonderful Michael-sama! I knew you would eventually!

[No you didn't, Michael. Shut up.]

[dignity_misery]

[It is... very tempting to tell him that this was all Belial's idea. But Carla keeps her mouth shut.]

So you're going to do it.

[gotashortfuse]

Well I am the best damned fire user. Ya gotta go with me.

[dignity_misery]

Good. We're easy to find, he's the only fire breathing dog in the neighborhood.

[gotashortfuse]

I'll have his ass trained up just fine.

[dignity_misery]

His name is Peanut.

[Which... Carla hangs up before Michael can think to ask for payment.]

[gotashortfuse]

[He...won't ever think about it. Nope. Too busy thinking it's awesome that he gets to train a FIRE DOG.]